also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
