i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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