i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
