Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
