please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
being pregnant is like rehab
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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