She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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