Soap is not a condiment
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
