Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
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Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
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Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
we're so committed to being not committed
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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