I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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