I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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