No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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