I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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