Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
