At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My feet surprised me
Randomize