My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
this will be a night to untag.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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