Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
