dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
they need to just BURY HIM!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
