Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize