Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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