his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
