So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
