I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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