I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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