I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
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My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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