i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
