but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
