i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize