Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You're like the curious george of whores
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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