Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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