i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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