I didn't shave. On purpose
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
