The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
