Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
