Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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