I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
