there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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