it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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