Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
