I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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