You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
