I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
