Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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