I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Found your dick twin last night
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize
