My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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