I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize