do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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