i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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