I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
