Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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