Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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