so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
