Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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