the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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