Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
