Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
