So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
