NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I can't turn off my feet"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
