You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
