Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
