i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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