Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
