Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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