the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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