The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
