2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
