so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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