In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
then he tried to convert me to islam
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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