next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
