may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
