i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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